BIG BERTHA: Dead at age Thirty (30)

Great Big Bertha walked slowly and somberly to the outdoor podium. She looked out over the largest gathering of golf clubs in history. Over one hundred clubs were dressed in their finest grips and covers. Many eyes were filled with tears.

“Thank you all for coming today. It is a sad day for all of us who knew my mother and your friend, Bertha. She was the grand ol’ lady of golf, loved and respected by everyone. She was an original.” Everyone nodded agreement.

“You called her BIG BERTHA. I called her Mom.” Emotion overcame the only daughter of Big Bertha. She reached for a small golf towel with a Pine Valley logo to wipe her tears.  

“She carried herself with dignity and class, never complaining when she was thrown or cursed. She brought sheer joy into the lives of so many, especially giving Mr. Wedge a lot of opportunities to shine,” she said with a smile. “Thank you for coming. Big Bertha’s death has already brought life by your appearance here today. Thank you!”

She took her seat next to the rest of Big Bertha’s family, including grandchildren Biggest Big Bertha and Big Bertha 454, plus the Callaway youngsters Rogue and Epic Flash, all sitting together on the front row.

The eulogy of Big Bertha’s eldest daughter brought joy filled tears. Almost all the greats had come for her funeral at the famous Pine Valley Golf Club in New Jersey, USA. Three other greats of the game offered eulogies to the exclusive crowd gathered on the green lawn near the 1st Tee.

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