“He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.” (Psalms 40:2 NLT).

Bruce Simpson was a hot-shot junior golfer when we met as teenagers in 1965. He was one year older than me and one of my juvenile heroes. I saw his name in the paper for shooting some low score. Bruce was trying to break par when I was hoping to break 90.

Many years later I discovered that Bruce’s low scores came with some baggage. He put way too much pressure on himself to perform. By the time Bruce was a teenager, he was very good but also hated the game.

Golf was a “performance” sport for Bruce. If he played well, he felt good about himself. But when he played bad, he hated himself.

In his teen-age mind, Bruce didn’t just play bad. He was bad. Or so he thought. Low self-esteem and undiagnosed depression became a pattern for him. At age 17, he quit golf. In a sense, he quit life too.

Listen to Bruce explain his teen-age years: “I was an honor student until the 7th grade but in the 8th grade, I completely abandoned academics because of low self-worth and wanting to be ‘popular’ and ‘cool’. I set a Guiness Book of World Records for being sent to the principal’s office in the 9th grade. I wore it like a “Red Badge of Courage”. I was highly successful at being stupid. I graduated high school with a 1.72 GPA for 4 years. I was admitted to UK despite my GPA but proceeded to flunk out since I didn’t attend class. I got involved in the anti-war, hippie movement. I did a great job protesting the war but a poor job attending class. I was drafted in August 1970 and served 2 years active duty, and 4 years reserve duty. The Army experience changed my life, but the depression and low self-worth continued.”

Fast forward over a decade. Bruce’s time in the Army helped him grow up and start over again at UK where he graduated with a 3.6 GPA. And by the time we re-connected again, he was in law school at age thirty. I was a young lawyer who knew almost nothing. Soon thereafter, we were law partners. “Anggelis, Philpot, Gordon and Simpson” at 139 Market Street in Lexington, Kentucky was our new playground. Our office was across the street from the courthouse. We were in the middle of the action, or so we thought. We were young lawyers, doing our best to learn the ropes under our senior partner, John Anggelis.

Instead of hoping to break par, we were trying to win cases in court. We probably lost more than we won but at least we were real lawyers. And we were helping people.

For Bruce, golf was gone forever, but the law became his “performance” sport. By the time he was forty, he was finding success as a sought-after zoning lawyer. In golf terms, Bruce was a “scratch lawyer” who built a wonderful reputation. He was President of the local bar and more. His self-esteem was solid as long as his career was successful. His underlying depression was masked by courtroom wins.

However, almost sixty years after the nightmares of “performance” golf, troubles suddenly re-surfaced. On a cold January day, Bruce opened an envelope to discover the devastating news that he had lost an appeal of a case he had won at trial. Somehow, this highly competent and proud attorney had literally forgotten to file the necessary paperwork for an important client.

This was the ultimate loss- not just of one case- but of his identity as a good lawyer. The same self-loathing that infected a young golfer re-entered the mind of this experienced lawyer. An evil voice whispered into his ear- “You are a loser… you have failed… you should be embarrassed…” And on and on.

The negative voices from age fourteen returned to a 72-year-old man.

Bruce did not hesitate. He wrote a suicide note to his wife. He went to a gun store to purchase a deadly weapon. He went to a cemetery. He made an anonymous call from the cemetery to the police that he had found a body, not mentioning it was his own body. He tested the gun, which fired properly into the ground. He then pulled the trigger with a second bullet to end his life.

The gun went “click”. The hammer of the gun hit the bullet but did not fire. A miracle.

Police arrived to interrupt any further attempts at the cemetery. But Bruce was still determined to kill himself. Several hours later, he went into a detention basin near his home to pull the trigger again.

Listen to Bruce explain the Voice of God as he prepared to pull the trigger with a third bullet.

“When I got to my subdivision, I pulled the gun out for the final time to kill myself. Police cars were staged in front of my house and so I walked into a nearby detention basin to finish my mission.

At that moment, I experienced an overwhelming sense of calm and peace and then (this is the part I have only shared with few for fear of being thought a “kook” or some whacked out religious fanatic to the extent that the people I was intended to help would not find my story credible and not reach out for the help I knew would save their life and make it better): When I pulled that gun out for the final time, I received, (heard?) this message inside my head, in a comforting tone, “Bruce you are not going to kill yourself. You are going to be OK. You are going to be fine and you will be equipped to handle the aftermath of your suicide attempt.” Again, when I previously heard people say, “God told me.” Or, “I talked with God”, I blew it off because almost all of these people were who I perceived to be charlatan evangelists who were hawking their purported faith to extract money from the listeners so they, the evangelists, could live in multimillion-dollar homes, have multiple jets, wear Rolex watches and all the rest of the trappings of materialistic pursuits.” Thus, I have held off telling the “rest of my story”.

But, I heard what I heard! I am not making this up. I have nothing to gain. I am not nor will I ever seek compensation to help others struggling like I have. Arguably, coming out with the rest of my story may cause some people, (like I used to do on occasion), to make fun of or mock me. On the other hand, I believe I have to be truthful and tell the rest of it.

God does exist. The Holy Spirit exists within each of us. You simply have to invite Jesus into your life. Then, listen and be obedient to what God shares with you. It is an evolving/learning journey but the life-changing benefits are beyond my words to adequately describe.”

The term ‘saved’ is thrown around too loosely among many Christians. But by my analysis, God saved Bruce in at least three ways that night. There were three miracles.

First, and most obvious, when the gun went ‘click’.

Second, when the Voice of the Lord spoke peace to Bruce’s heart and mind.

And then third, God saved Bruce by leading him to competent mental health professionals who have nurtured him back to health. Bruce’s case is proof that mental health counselling helps! No one should be embarrassed to seek medical attention from doctors who are highly qualified. Bruce was led to a hospital for the first few days, and now, one year later, he is still getting help!

He is now on a mission to save others, especially his fellow lawyers, who apparently commit suicide three times more than the general population. More than 50,000 people committed suicide in 2023, the highest number in history. Thanks be to God that my friend Bruce Simpson was not one of them.

He was saved… and saved for a purpose.

Click here for an article in the newspaper and a video interview with Bruce.

“Death wrapped its ropes around me; the terrors of the grave overtook me. I saw only trouble and sorrow. “Then I called on the name of the Lord: ‘Please, Lord, save me!’ How kind the Lord is! How good He is. So merciful, this God of ours!” Psalm 116:3-5.

Click here for Bruce’s article in “Bench and Bar”, a Kentucky magazine for lawyers. And below find a radio interview with Bruce and Jack Pattie.